The new girl or guy or you know what Whatever
by Osamu Kurogane
Summary: This is of a person who joins the Akastuki and has a "secret" that is rather shocking. Read if you want to find out more. Rating for Language and... suggestions. And I'm sorry for all you REALLY hardcore Akatsuki fans, but this story shows their flaws. RR


Tobi: TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!!!

So Tobi is the one to say the disclaimer.

Hidan: Just get to the fucking point, Tobi!

Tobi: OKAY!!! Osamu Kurogane does not own the Akatsuki!!!

Akatsuki (mainly Tobi): Enjoy!!!

Hidan: AND DON'T FUCKING COMPLAIN ABOUT THE FUCKING STORY IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANY FUCKING PROOF OF YOUR FUCKING ACUSATION!!! GOT IT, BITCHES?!?!

Itachi: Hidan, will you please stop yelling. It is hurting my ears.

Hidan: Oh shut it, you blind bastard.

Itachi: (glares at Hidan)

Tobi: ON TO THE STORY!!!

Kurogane: Sorry to interrupt you guys, but Sasori is dead in this story and Tobi already took his place. Oh, and there might be a little of a spoiler about who Tobi is plus "what and who I think Tobi is" mixed with that info. So don't think that that is the full truth on Tobi, only part of it is… ENJOY!!!

Tobi: WHAT?!?! YOU KNOW WHO I FUCKING AM!!!

Everyone else of Akatsuki: o_O I didn't know that Tobi cussed.

Tobi: FUCK YOU GUYS!!! HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM, OSAMU!!! TELL ME, BITCH!!!

Kurogane: (anime vein) Tobi, stop cussing or you'll reveal who you are before I get to it in the story.

Tobi: I'LL SAY WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT! YO! PEOPLE WHO ARE READING THIS CRAPPY STORY MADE BY THIS CRAPPY MOTHER-FUCKING WRITER! I'M- (suddenly disappears)

Akatsuki: Where did he go?

Kurogane: I just put him back into the story. So, everyone say it with me.

Akatsuki: (sighs)

Everyone: ONTO THE STORY!!!

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Hidan woke-up from his sleep and needed to go to the bathroom. He got up rather lazily and went out of his and Kakuzu's room. There were 8 rooms in the house, but Leader decided that 5 of the rooms would be used for the Akatsuki's members, and the other three rooms would be used for the bathroom, the dining/ kitchen/ meeting place, and the living room. The living room was just a place where they could chill. Everyone thought it was unfair that Zetsu had a room to himself, but leader assured them that when he found a person who could live with Zetsu's rather ravenous appitite for flesh like the man-eating plant he was, Zetsu wouldn't have the room to himself anymore.

Hidan walked towards the bathroom and opened the door. He heard a rather high-pitched scream, like a girl, and closed the door immediately. He thought for a few minutes. All of Akatsuki were men, except for Konan, whom really didn't seem to care if the guys walked in on her naked, which was pretty creepy. The only other person he could think of was Deidara who was the most feminine out of all the members of the Akatsuki. The only person he didn't mind walking in on him naked was Tobi, because he would just run out of there automatically.

So, Hidan was about to yell at the door, so the person inside could here him, when he heard a rather feminine/manly voice, not Deidara's, speaking to him. (you know, one of those voices of tom-boys. I know that's stereo-typical to say, but it's the only way I can describe it. Sorry to all you tom-boys out there) "Hidan, I'm sorry, but can you back away from the door so I can open it? I'm finished changing and I actually want to see you before you start yelling the stupid things you were going to yell if Deidara were in here, who you thought was."

Hidan just stood there, wondering who the heck was in the bathroom. He didn't know that voice at all. It had a bit of a british accent. Wait, how could he even understand English in the first place? As if answering his questions the voice said "One, you'll find out when I come out. Two, I'm new. Three, I'm from Britain. And Four, I have a translator. Now if you please, step away from the door before I blast you away from it."

So Hidan jumped away from the door, as the door opened to reveal a girl walking out. She was wearing Non-tight jeans that seemed like they were for guys that fit her waist perfectly, a non-tight black shirt that had the blood-red symbol for his god, Jashin, on it, which also seemed like it was for also guys, that went past her waist just enough to cover the zipper of her jeans, and she was also wearing some tight fitting shoes that seemed like she could run easily in them with out her feeling uncomfortable. They were black by the way. She also had a nose ring in her right nostril and a tattoo on her arm, that looked like it was painful to get, in the shape of a dragon holding a glass of water surrounded by ice and snow. He wondered what it meant.

While he was examining the girl, she walked through the door and with a flick of her wrist, it closed behind her. Hidan was snapped out of his trance the girl's appearance had put on him with the bathroom door's slam. Then the girl told him "Hello Hidan. It is a pleasure to meet you. What do you think of my shirt? Or my tattoo. Well, my tattoo symbolizes my name." She held out a hand to him. "My name is Ryuuzaki Hyourinmaru Miyuki. Nice to meet you, Hidan." (Ryuuzaki means Dragon, Hyourinmaru means Ice ring, and Miyuki means Snow. Now you know what part of her tattoo means. You will find out what the water is for soon)

Hidan stared at the girl like she was crazy. "Dude, let's walk to Leader's room so that he can explain why I'm in the lair so that you won't kill me, okay?" So she grabbed Hidan's arm and pulled him to Leader's room. Hidan didn't like being man-handled so he took the lead instead and she loosened her grip as she let him grip her wrist instead. She had planned this.

When they got to Leader's room, Miyuki pulled Hidan away from the door with blush on her face. Then she knocked on the door really hard and yelled "Leader, you may want stop what your doing really quick, put on your robe and come out here to explain to Hidan about me." Then they heard a crash inside the room.

Hidan stared at the girl. "Why the heck did you pull me away from the door blushing? And why did you yell that to Leader?" This seemed to make the girl blush even more and she actually pulled a mask out of nowhere and put it on her face to try and hide it. The mask looked related to Tobi's, except it was black with orange lines. Yeah, that's non-conspicuous.

"Ummm, Leader and Konan were, um…" She stopped and pushed the heel of her palms together pretty hard five times. Hidan got the message and blushed himself. "Yeah. You got the message." She breathed in and out deeply and turned to the door.

Leader opened his door looking like he was in a hurry to get out of there to meet them. He opened the door, came out, and shut behind him. Everything he said to them came out in a rush. "Oh, Miyuki. Looks like you met up with Hidan. Hidan, this is our newest member, Ryuuzaki Hyourinmaru Miyuki. She is going to be Zetsu's new partner. Please escort her to her room and make sure you get all of the members to meet her. Okay? Okay. So I'll have a meeting to discuss your powers with the rest of the organization later, okay?" He paused so that he could see the nodding mask of Miyuki and the nodding head of Hidan before he went on. "Good. Now if you'll excuse me." He opened his door, slipped back in, closed it and it locked.

Hidan was stunned. He had never seen Leader that flustered before in his time in the organization. He couldn't see Miyuki's reaction to it, but he could tell she was not surprised. He suddenly noticed that she had electric blue hair that was put into a ponytail. Well, not really a ponytail because it was so short, he could measure it to be about two centimeters long. He also suddenly noticed that she had teal eyes that went with her hair perfectly. How had he not noticed such noticeable things when he was staring at the girl for 10 minutes?!?!

Miyuki looked at him with the mask still on. But it wasn't there for long because she took it off and put it on Hidan instead. He ripped it off to find a giggling girl in front of him. Her appearance actually made Hidan feel like he had just done something embarrassing. He blushed out of the humiliation that the girl had given him. The new person! "You really need to put a mask on of your own. You show your emotions to eagerly, as if you want people to know how you feel. Is that some sort of sign of not being given enough attention? And aren't you supposed to give me a tour around this lair and introduce me to the other members? You are really slow, dude." Then she started to laugh as she turned around and headed for Zetsu's room.

Hidan stared after. How did she know where everything was?!?! He didn't even have to tell her the direction before she started to walk toward her destination. That was just crazy! She was supposed to be the new comer! If she was able to get around without his help, then she didn't need a tour by him and what was up with his thoughts not having any bad words?!?!

Then out of nowhere "Hidan, would you stop standing there like an idiot!!! You can't think of bad words because I blocked them off of your system. NO GET OVER HERE!!!" Miyuki did a hand gesture for him to come, but when Hidan just scoffed at her, she flicked her wrist and Hidan was feeling a hard pulling sensation making him get dragged towards her. Of course, Hidan was scared out of his mind, but he didn't show it on his face because he didn't want to be embarrassed again by this 5'4" person in front of him. She stared into his eyes, well, more of glared, and then she did the unexpected while holding him up in the air with one hand.

She glared him, put him an arms length away from her face, and stuck her tongue out at him while pulling her eye down, you know, a teasing face. Then she laughed really hard and gently put him down. Then she kept walking while holding onto Hidan's Akatsuki robe's neck thingermajig. You know, that thing that covers a person's neck. Yeah, that thing. Hidan tried to struggle out of her grip and just when he thought he had won, she let go of him and stepped into a room. Hidan stared after her, realizing they had reached their destination.

He stepped into the room to find the girl had made Zetsu sit on a chair so she could examine him. "What the heck are you doing to him?" Hidan asked. Zetsu looked up at him in surprise. "What?" Hidan asked when the stare did not falter.

"Hidan," Zetsu's white side started. The black side ended it. "You didn't say one single bad word in any of your sentences." Then the white side said "And she's seeing how I'm a plant and still have a human form. She's really quite nice. Who is she by the way?" Zetsu stopped his stare on Hidan to put his stare on the girl circling around the chair.

"Her name is Ryuuzaki Hyourinmaru Miyuki. Leader called her Miyuki, so I guess we should call her Miyuki. She's your new room-mate. And she blocked off all bad words from my system. Why and how did you do that?" Hidan glared at the girl.

"I did it because I hate bad words being used around me and I saw that your consiensce was full of them, so I took them all out" She said while pulling at Zetsu's cheeks to see how rubbery they were. "And you seem to be just two human forms with oddly colored skin stuck together by a jutsu that you can use to either come apart from each other or go together and you can also suck other people's chakra and give it to someone else. Very interesting." She let go of Zetsu's cheeks.

Zetsu stared at her in shock. His white side was the first to speak. "How did you know all of that just by looking at us?" Then the black side "And stretching our cheeks." "They" tilted their head to the side in a questioning gesture.

"Hidan, can you go out of the room really quick so I can speak to Zetsu privately?" Miyuki asked out of no-where.

Hidan glared at her. "Fine. You know you're a very controlling little girl." Hidan turned around to head for the door, when the door slammed in his face and he turned around to be face to face with the "little girl".

Miyuki's hair color had changed from electric blue to silver and her eye color had changed from teal to blood-red. As you can tell, Hidan was in total fear from the intense glare from those red eyes. They reminded him to much of Itachi's sharingan. Itachi had used it on him once and he didn't want to feel that again.

A very deep and manly voice came from Miyuki's mouth. "We are not a little girl. We are 14 years old and going through puberty, so don't mess with us, Jashinist. You may just be killed in the process because we have killed 15 Jashinsts before you and we can do it again." "Miyuki" went back over to Zetsu and sat on his lap.

Zetsu's white side. "Why are you sitting on my lap?" Black-side (okay, from now on, I'm going to refer to them as ZW and ZB because I'm getting tired of having to type out the whole thing) "Seriously."

"Miyuki" "Because you are comfortable to sit on."

Hidan "Who are you?"

"Miyuki" "Oh, I'm Miyuki's twin brother, Mizu. Ryuuzaki Hyourinmaru Mizu. Sorry to say, but me and my sister have the same body and the only way you can tell us apart is when our hair and eye color change and our voice changes. So that, Hidan, is why Pein made us Zetsu's partner, because we also have two people in one body."

Zetsu and Hidan went slack-jawed. _This person has a personality disorder!_ The other men in the room thought at the same time.

Mizu "It is not a personality disorder because our hair, eyes, and voice change. A personality disorder is when somebody has different personalities in the same body, so they all look alike. Plus she has boobs and a vagina while I just have a penis. They disappear and reappear every time we change. After 14 years, we have become accustomed to the pain of the transformation. So, we actually are two different persons, we just so happen to live in the same body." His hair color changed again, except it went back to electric blue and his eyes went back to teal. Miyuki was back.

"So… I see you've met my brother?" She said in her tomboy voice.

Hidan returned his jaw to it's regular position. Connected. And he bolted out of the room to talk to Leader about the new recruit.

And Zetsu was left alone to talk to his new… partner.

TBC

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Tobi: I wasn't in it…

Kurogane: That's why I said. Leave it for LATER!!!

Pein: Ooo. Burn.

Hidan: So now I can't cuss anymore? That's a piece of work. Jashin Dream it… FUDGE YOU, KUROGANE!!! _**FUDGE YOU!!!!**_

Kurogane: As you can tell, Miyuki also replaced the words with other ones also.

Kakuzu: Oh, this is going to be fun.

Hidan: Shut the fudge up, Kakuzu. Dream you to heck.

Itachi: This is rather… amuzing.

Deidara: Yo, when do I come in, un?

ZW: Why do you give me the crazy person?

ZB: I mean, she's crazy.

ZW and ZB: Am I right?

Everyone else: o_O

Kisame: I didn't know they could speak at the same time.

Kurogane: ANYWAY!!!

Everyone else: (silence)

Kurogane: Okay. Well, Tobi will be in the next one and the Akatsuki will have a meeting. Wait for the next chapter, for those of you who are bold and patient enough. Kay kay. SEE YA!!!

Akatsuki: Wouldn't want to be ya.

XD


End file.
